The End of Days

Heidi's mom here.

Very sad news - the saddest I could have for you.
On May 4, 2015, Heidi was euthanized.

Heidi came to the vet's office for a routine physical examination at the end of March at which time we drew blood to perform a CBC and blood chemistry tests.  Her liver values came back very abnormal - more than they have ever been in the past.

She had also been having seizures more frequently and been more "out of it" than usual.
After a short illness of just over a month, Heidi deteriorated to the point that euthanasia was the most humane thing I could choose for her.  She had no appetite, had difficulty walking, slept almost constantly, and appeared to take no pleasure in anything.  Unfortunately, this coincided with my final exams for radiography school.  I couldn't study and had made plans to take my exams a day early to be able to relax and spend a last day with my best friend.

Heidi, per her usual self, disregarded my plans and had plans of her own.  The day I was to take my final exams, Monday, May 4th, Heidi had a grand mal seizure from which she did not recover.  I rushed her to our veterinarian's office.  I used to work there and Heidi was well known - it was a sad day for a lot of people, aside from myself.  Our usual veterinarian gave her a pain medication and sedative called butorphanol just in case she was in pain.  She was only slightly responsive at this point.
After that took effect and my mother arrived, I carried her out under the shade of a tree.  My veterinarian and an assistant, both long-time friends, helped end her suffering while I held her.  She did not die alone; she died with love all around.

This has been the saddest time of my life.  Heidi had such a spark, such a personality, that I really considered her more my best friend than a dog.  I cannot express my sorrow.

I have such gratitude for the people who knew her and were involved in her care, gratitude for the people who knew how much I loved her, and gratitude for all of you readers for letting me share some of her "joie de vivre" with you.

I had Heidi's body cremated with her big, orange bone so that she will have it with her always.
Her ashes have been on the coffee table beside me since then and I eagerly await the urn I special ordered from Etsy to arrive.  In the meantime, I have a small amount of ashes inside a silver pendant so that she is always with me.

I miss her so much.  I loved her so much.  I am so thankful that the choice of euthanasia was available to end her suffering.

Mom's POV: Heidi's Good and Bad News

Hello!  Heidi has told you all about her illness, finally.  She would not let me write about it until she broke the news.  Now, I can tell you what it was like from my point of view.  I try to be stoic, especially in front of Heidi, but the news really broke my heart a little.  Likely, this is what will ultimately make her very ill and send her off for greener pastures, something I am dreading completely.

Heidi has improved my life so much there is no way I can express that to her or to you.  She was my first puppy as an adult when I lived alone and was not working because of a hand injury.  We got to spend a lot of time together in her formative months.  She is also the only dog that I took to puppy school which is why she is the only one who obeys me at all!  Although, she is also the only one who talks back to me and orders me around.  She is too smart for me - she always has been.  So, clearly, she is the reason my life has been as good as it has been.  And, clearly, the thought of not having her in my life scares the patooties out of me.

On to what is wrong with her: her body is really good at making mast cell tumors as she's had 7 removed so far.  Now, the new, bad problem is that her kidneys are having trouble filtering properly.

NOTE:
I started writing this over a month ago and I just couldn't bring myself to finish.
Heidi is doing well on her prescription kidney diet.  Although she is still having accidents while I am away from the house, the uses the pads every time.  Well, every time I remember to put one down.

Good News, Bad News

Which comes first?

In this case it was the bad news.

I have sick kidneys.  I found out a month ago and it has taken me a while to ponder it enough to be able to write about it.  I constantly feel like I want to drink water but then I have to pee all of the time!  I have tried so hard to start with an empty bladder when mom leaves for the day.  I try not to have accidents in the house, but sometimes I just can not hold it!  It is embarrassing and the boys tease me about it.  I feel ashamed.

Mom tries every day to make sure I am happy.  I have to give her credit - she has tried really hard to make me feel better - better about not feeling good and better about peeing in the house.  At first I thought she would be angry when she came home to the puddles.  She was never angry!  I think she got annoyed that I peed on the big rug sometimes instead of the washable one by the door.  I agree it was a poor choice on my part, but sometimes I missed.  Anyway, she keeps telling me there is no shame in what I have been forced to do.  She understands I am not trying to be bad and that I am sick and cannot help it, but I still feel bad anyway.  Mom tells me, "Heidi, there is no shame.  Pee on the pad - that's what it's for."  The big rug got so dirty that she rolled it up and moved it.  Now, I don't have to worry about that anymore.  I just pee on whatever is by the door.  It is so much easier, lol.

Oh, the good news!

I forgot about that for a minute.  Mom drove me to see our veterinarian.  He looked at my insides with an ultrasound machine and mom drew blood to send out to a lab for a CBC and serum chemistry tests (see the post SMILE - Pre-Anesthesia for a Dental Cleaning for an explanation about the bloodwork).  My vet did not see anything bad on the ultrasound and the only thing wrong with my bloodwork was the kidney values, BUN and creatinine, which are elevated.  This is expected with kidney disease (aka renal failure).  So, for now, all I have to do is eat a special food and recheck my bloodwork every few months.  The food is a special prescription diet which actually tastes really good.  I heard "prescription" and thought it would be awful and mom would have to force feed me.  Thankfully, that was not the case!

Digging to China?

Oh boy!  Edgar is in trouble.  With mom.

Mom spent a lot of time and sweat putting in a new plant garden in the back yard, complete with a little rock lined "stream" to help with drainage.  Edgar has spent a ridiculous amount of time digging in it.  Every time he goes outside, he digs a little more.  He eats something.  I do not know what it is, and I do not care what it is.  Mom sure does though.  She yells at him all of the time now and has to clean off his face and his feet every time he comes back inside.

I laugh.  She tells him every time he wants to go outside, "DO NOT DIG in the yard!"  Every time.  Poor mom is so frustrated with him.  I keep trying to tell her that he is a boy and a dog and he will not obey.  He just is not bright enough to stop.

Here is the yard after all of Mom's hard work.  

Notice the board across the "stream."

The preliminary plants are in, the mulch is thick, and the rocks are looking good.  Can you see me hiding behind the bush?

There's the board from the previous picture.

Destruction!

It really is an understatement to say that she is annoyed!  At least you can see some of the plants have grown well.  She has more plants to go in this fall.  I can not wait for the crepe myrtles to get planted.  They are so pretty!

*UPDATE: October 15, 2014.  Edgar is still at it and the yard is even worse these days.  Mom is now threatening to take him to the pound!  I know she is kidding, but still, I do not think that is funny because Edgar does not understand.  He does not understand that she is kidding yet he still digs in the yard.  Boys!  Go figure!

Heidi's Birthday Baking

Heidi's mom here.

I know that Heidi has written about her birthday party and how much she liked her cakes.  I had a lot of fun baking them for her.  It makes me laugh when I watch her eat her cake with her front teeth.  She sort of nibbles her way down through the frosting first, before enjoying the cake at the bottom.  

I baked the cakes the morning of her party.  While we were at the beach I sneaked out of the house and headed to Salty Paws Biscuits, a barkery we love.  I purchased this peanut butter cake mix that included a mix for yogurt frosting.  I only had to add an egg, a little bit of oil, and some water.  Super easy!

Just a few ingredients needed.

Mixed and ready to be baked.

Cooling before icing application.

The cake actually smelled like peanut butter.  I was tempted to eat one myself.  After cooling I mixed the icing powder with a little bit of water and applied it to the tops of the cakes.  It just seemed like they were missing something though, so with the help of my friend's daughter, we made a peanut butter drizzle to decorate the tops.

Wylie helping finish the cakes.

I love celebrating Heidi's birthday every year.  This year we couldn't do it at the beach - the first time ever.  We made up for it with my friend and her daughter and their two dogs coming over to celebrate with us.  Wylie had a great time distributing the cakes to the dogs and they had a great time eating them.  All of this makes me very happy!

It's MY Party!

This year, celebrating my birthday was a little different.  Instead of having a party at the beach like we usually do, we had it at home after we got back.  Mom invited a few of our friends over - humans and dogs.  She baked me some miniature cakes.  So yummy!  It was peanut butter cake with yogurt frosting and a peanut butter drizzle.  Oh my, I did not know something could be so good!

First licks prove yummy level is high.

Have to take a moment to taste it...

...before diving in!

But I still take my time to savor it!

Edgar, on the other hand just dives right in sucking the whole cake down in one bite.  I am not sure he even knew what flavor it was it disappeared so quickly!

SNIFF...

...CHOMP!

LOL.  I do not know how he did not choke on that cake.  Everyone else at the party bit into their cakes and savored them as I did.  Edgar is just a big, goofy goofball.

Olaf and Elsa enjoying their pieces of cake also.

Mom always knows how to throw a good party.  And yes, I am 13 now.  I will never be one of those individuals who lies about their age.  I am proud to have lived this long, although the aging body does have its issues.  But do not worry - I am still awesome.  LOL.

Aging Body, Aging Mind

Having just celebrated my 13th birthday in August (party pictures to arrive soon!), I have noticed some things have changed over the last year.  I suddenly feel "old."  I never thought of myself as being that old, but I am starting to get those old dog problems.  Getting up and down from the couch and bed have become a little difficult.  I am not as springy as I used to be!  Mom went to a used furniture store and found a set of wooden steps to help me get up on the bed.  She painted them and covered the treads with fabric so they wouldn't be slippery for me.

She has also put an old couch cushion in front of the couch to help give me a boost up.  Since I shed a lot and my hair really likes to stick to fabric, mom wrapped a sheet around the cushion so she can unwrap it easily to wash it.  The tan thing on the couch is a rubber-backed non-slip bath mat.  The leather is slick for my paws and I was always slipping around on the couch.  The mat makes me feel a lot more secure!  I no longer slide around and fall into the crevices between the cushions.

The saddest part of getting old for me is that I can no longer catch the frisbee.  My most favorite thing to do in all the world is catch the frisbee.  My eyesight has changed and it has made it difficult for me to accurately see where it is in relation to my mouth.  Mom suspected it was my eyes so she took me to the vet to make sure.  My veterinarian performed a pretty thorough eye exam and was able to determine that, aside from the usual age-related change to my eyes of nuclear sclerosis*, I actually have small cataracts in the center of my eyes.  He does not think I will go blind - thankfully! - but it does leave me with my peripheral vision being better than central vision.

Ah, well, I guess there is nothing I can do about aging except get used to it!  No point in fighting it.  In fact, I asked mom if she would dye the big spot on my face.  It has almost completely disappeared!  She refused to do it!  She said it's better to accept the changes as they come and not try to hide from them.  I understand what she is saying, but I still miss the spot.

Take care of your friends and neighbors!  Especially the elderly ones.  We need it!